To See Through the Eyes of a Deprived Child

I hope I never stop seeing Life through the eyes of the deprived child I once was.

I don’t mean seeing the world through fearful eyes, needing to survive in each moment.

I mean seeing the Life I am living now, this Life I have created, through the eyes of the child that never even dared to dream of anything different for fear of having them ripped away from her the way her innocence was.

I sat with this little girl today and let her show me the Beauty she sees in my Life, because I couldn’t see it this morning. Here is what she showed me.

The 4 year old showed me all of the people I can depend on. All of the relationships I’ve created that are unbreakable. Men that have been in my life for over 20 years, the unquestionable bond with my children, friends that would drop everything to come help me if I needed it. This little girl who couldn’t even depend on her father to stay by her side is in awe that this type of Trust exists, let alone the fact that this gets to be my reality.

The 8 year old little girl pointed out to me that I get to play! I have so many toys that I love to play with and I get to play with them anytime I want! AND I don’t have to put them away if I don’t want to but she is so amazed that I choose to so I can keep them safe so I can play with them forever longer! I have so many instruments I can play as loud as I want! She couldn’t even walk without worrying about getting hurt by her stepdad because she messed up the tassels on the rug.

The teenage girl was sitting in confusion at how I live. Sleeping until I’m ready to wake up. Doing things because they feel good or are fun. LAUGHING when I made a mistake!!!! LAUGHING?!?! She asked me, “Don’t you have to make sure everyone is happy and taken care of?”. I told her that it isn’t my job or responsibility to do that anymore and it never should have been hers.

It was after that statement that the last version of my little girl came to me with tears in her eyes as she gave me a hug and asked “How can you Love me like that? And make me feel so safe? Nobody’s ever done that before?”

Now it was me, adult me, that had tears in my eyes as I felt with her heart, saw with her eyes and heard with her ears, realizing I had become the person I needed as a child. I built a Life that I should have had as a child. I treat people the way I should have been treated as a child. And the child that never received any of it, gets to have it all now.

To her, it’s a fairytale. All the things she was told were never real so don’t bother. I’m living it now. WE are living it now. And what she sees is magic!!

I hope I NEVER stop seeing Life through the eyes of this deprived child. I will NEVER stop trying to give her the Life she has always deserved.

Jenn Morales

1/19/26