What do we need to make us safe…with ourself?
I was the most dangerous person to myself for a really long time. I was taught how to be abusive to myself by the people who were supposed to protect me and it was a long journey to unlearn that patterned behavior. What do I mean when I say abusive myself? Just that. I would degrade and berate myself, make myself feel small and insignificant, shame, judge and blame myself for anything that went “wrong: in my Life. It was always my fault and I made sure I punished myself for that. How could I possibly feel safe within myself when that is how I treat myself? Things get to change, though!
My son, best friend and I went hiking this past weekend up in Flagstaff at Humphrey’s Peak Trail. It’s April and down here in Phoenix we have already hit triple digits but a short two hour drive north and we are hitting the trailhead at 27 degrees (yes, Fahrenheit!) and about an hour in the trail is covered with ice and snow!
Even with the conditions we hiked for a solid 8 hours! We still didn’t make it to the top, but we sure did kick ass on that trail! On our way down the mountain I was talking to my bestie and sharing how freaking proud I am of myself. In the past, during super intense hikes or workouts, if I got winded or was going slower or needed a break, I would shame myself for all the things I did “wrong” that led to me not being “good enough” to keep going or not need a break.
On this hike, though, I didn’t do that even one time! Instead, when I felt like I needed a break, I checked in with myself a little deeper to make sure I really was ready for a break or was I just wanting to avoid the discomfort? I didn’t judge, I didn’t shame, I just got curious and asked. When I needed a break, I asked the group to pause and I celebrated myself for that! I thanked myself for taking care of me! What?!?! That is so wildly new and different for me and it genuinely filled my heart to overflowing.
But that isn’t even the coolest part of all of this! The really neat thing was when my 14 year old son began asking for breaks when he needed them. Or when he decided that it was time for us to stop and turn around before hitting the peak even though for the last month all he talked about was making it to the top. I saw my son choose himself and create a safe environment for himself on this hike. Why? Because he saw me do it.
Our children don’t learn what we tell them, they learn from our actions and how we show up in the World.
When we choose to make our safety the #1 priority, Life changes. Our priorities change, how we see the world changes, even the way we understand people shifts. We shift from a state of Fear to a state of Trust. When we are able to trust ourselves, babe, nothing can get in our way. Not a damn thing. Because we will know without a doubt that we will always have our back, that we will always choose ourselves and that we will never be forgotten again. Walking in the World with that type of Inner World, you open a door to endless possibilities!
What do you do to make you feel unsafe?
Do you Trust yourself?
Have you ever chosen somebody else’s happiness over your own?
What is one thing you can shift to create a safer Inner World for yourself?
What would you need in order to Trust yourself?
What would it look like for you to choose your safety over everything else?
These are a few questions to contemplate as we walk through this week of learning to Embrace Safety in our Inner World as we walk the Pathway of Safety. As you contemplate, please remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE! There are many of us out there that are still learning what Safety is and how that translates in our actions and choices. Join us in The Sacred Wild Community to share your experiences and connect with others that are on this Path too!
I love you Sacredly and Wildly,
Jenn
